Getting Back Out There
As you age, all the cliches about time begin to resonate louder and clearer. "Don't blink" is one that readily comes to mind. I mostly think about this saying in reference to my children. It's hard to believe I have a son who turns 32 this year, when, sometimes, it feels like he was just born the other day. My career as a photographer is similar. I owned Heart's Desire Photography in the early 2000's when I left teaching to stay home and raise my kids. It just doesn't seem possible that, that was over twenty years ago. Back then, during busy times like Christmas and summer beach sessions, there were days filled with multiple shoots and copyrighting hundreds of photos while trying to keep four little kids fed and entertained. Those days sometimes felt like they would never end, but somehow they slipped away and bled into the next twenty years back in education full time once all my kids were in school themselves. It's hard to wrap my head around how fast the years have flown by.
You've probably also heard the saying, "Time is a thief." It steals our babies. It robs us of our youth. It takes away our chances to do all the things we promised ourselves we were going to do when we were younger. In my brand new role as a granny, it feels like time is ripping me off left and right, but I don't plan to go down without a fight. I am holding on to my "purse full of days" with both hands and not letting go. (I don't recommend this strategy with actual robbers. In that case, just give them what they want and run away.)
The time thief feels like a much more pressing threat as we age. It is easy to get overwhelmed by the passage of time as we get older, but instead of capitulating to the ticking clock, I choose to fight back. I try to value the time that I have left and really make the most of it. Right now, a big part of that plan is spending as much time as I can with my new granddaughter. I am thrilled to be on sabbatical so that I can watch the baby for my daughter while she is learning how to balance being a business owner and a new mom. Getting to love on our beautiful baby girl every day is such an amazing gift. It takes me back to the days when my own babies were small and fills my heart with the same tenderness and joy. I'm bone tired at the end of the day when I babysit, but at the same time I feel rejuvenated. I usually nap right after the baby goes home with her parents, but I fall asleep on the couch with a smile in my heart. I totally get all those studies that say that grandparents who regularly provide care for their grandchildren live longer than those who don't.
Another way I try to evade the time thief is by saying "yes" to myself. I can't get my babies back, and my youth may be slipping away, but I'm not letting time deprive me of opportunities. I subscribe to the "it's never too late" and "age is just a number" schools of thought. My mind is bombarded with so many exciting possibilities on a daily basis. It can be a little daunting trying to keep up with my thoughts sometimes because my brain never shuts off, but I do my best. I try to travel as much as I can. I have lots of hobbies. I volunteer. I love spending time with family and friends, and I'm always up for a new experience. I really try to keep myself busy, because I don't want to wake up one day with all my years behind me and a long list of things I never got to do on the table next to my bed.
Recently, when the idea of getting back into photography popped into my head, I tried to push it away at first. I told myself I already had a full-time job. I worried that there were too many new digital techniques to learn. I didn't know where I'd get the money for new equipment. I just kept talking myself out of putting myself back out there as a photographer, but once the thought of getting back into taking portraits took hold, it just wouldn't let go. I made a lot of excuses to avoid facing the real reason why this "yes" wasn't coming as easily as most others. Eventually, I had to put all the other excuses aside and admit what was really holding me back. When I got honest with myself, I had to admit that I was afraid. I was scared that my work would not be good enough. I was fearful that no one would want to book with me. I was worried that I couldn't keep up with the learning curve. Basically, I was afraid I would fail. I just wasn't able to muster up the courage to put myself out there and be vulnerable at this stage in my life.
In the end, I made a list of all the small steps I would have to take if I wanted to try my hand at portrait photography again. I knew I needed a new camera, so I met with a young portrait photographer I knew and got her recommendation for a good digital SLR and asked my husband and children to buy it for me for Mother's Day. I figured I needed a website, so I tried to make one myself for a little while, and then I got smart and hired a web designer to do it for me. I also needed branding and social media accounts so I designed a logo and created an Instagram and Facebook page. By the end of last summer, the only thing standing in the way of me taking professional portraits again was ME. So, I got out of my own way and launched Stacy Schwab Photography. Just like that, I was back in business.
It has been rewarding to be creating images for clients again. Every time a client books a session, I am struck with a mix of emotions. I am excited for the opportunity to use my creative talents. I am humbled that someone has trusted me with capturing memories for them. I am proud of myself for taking the risk and putting myself back out there again. I am also nervous that my work might fall short of their expectations or something technical will go wrong, and I won't know how to solve the problem. But the positive feelings definitely outweigh the negative, and I am learning and growing every day.
I am not saying it's easy. The competition is formidable, and there is still so much to learn, but I feel good about my decision to start shooting professionally again. I am committed to making Stacy Schwab Photography a success. I hope to grow the business over the next few years until I am ready to retire from education and give photography even more of my time and attention. I hope to meet lots of new people and capture all the wonderful images their hearts desire.
If you are looking for timeless, heirloom quality photos at an affordable price, I am more than happy to work with you. You won't be disappointed if you give this old girl a chance. I promise to work hard to give you images that reflect back the beauty I see every time I focus my camera on a subject.
If you come back and visit this blog, you will even get to hear some of the heartwarming stories behind the images I capture. I intend to use this space to showcase all the moving and awe-inspiring things I learn while I get to know the subjects I am photographing.
